Tag: Anxiety

New Year-New You? Nah…New Year-Better You!

starlawrites

*WARNING* Real Talk ahead…

I intended to write this post in January, after taking a couple of weeks off. But after a few events unfolded, they altered my post. I had planned on talking about your yearly writing goals and how to stay motivated. I had a ton of positive ideas on how to encourage you to reach those goals. But creating a list of goals and accomplishments felt jaded in light of those events.

In 2019 I was blessed with a new and unexpected friendship. She gave the best hugs and was encouraging me to say “no” to help me to not overcommit myself. Three days before Christmas she suffered several strokes and nearly lost her life. Miraculously, she not only survived, but grew stronger each day. She drew strength from her faith, family, and friends. She’s back home with her husband, two young boys and dog, (who won’t leave her side). When I got my first hug from her after she went through this ordeal, it felt the same as I remembered but also different. She’s a new person. She’s been given a second chance at life and she’s not taking it for granted.

So instead of a long list of goals for 2020, I’m trying to look at the big picture. I’m trying to look beyond 2020. But I’m also trying to take it one day at a time, focusing on making the best of each day. Last year I spent many days sick over worry and anxiety, bogged down by stress and depression. I’m hoping that in 2020 I find a way to feel refreshed rather than all the former mentioned. I hope the same for you.

This is the first year in quite a while, I haven’t written out my goals. Sure, I have some tucked away in my brain. Once in a while, I whisper them and on occasion, I shout them into the universe. My 2020 word isn’t RESOLUTE for nothing. I still have big hopes and dreams. But writing out a list of things I want to accomplish felt small in comparison to thinking what could be on my friend’s list for 2020. I’m assuming things like: Be thankful for each day, Make the most of each day, Tell family and friends you love and appreciate them, Grow stronger each day.

Sure, I still have dreams to publish all of my books, go on a fantastic family vacation before my son leaves for college this fall, and find a way to balance the day job/family/volunteer work/home/writing. But those felt minor in comparison to some big picture things. They say if you’d like to accomplish your dreams, you should say them out loud. I hope you’ll try it too. Here’s me, saying mine out loud:

My hopes for 2020:

  • Focus on today
  • Don’t allow the negativity of others steal your joy
  • Don’t give into anxiety; take control of it
  • Say NO; don’t overcommit yourself
  • Focus on what you actually have control over
  • If you feel yourself spiraling from depression, talk to someone
  • Don’t give up

I hope 2020 is off to a fantastic start for you! And if it’s not-well, we still have 11 more months to turn it around 🙂

How Does Anxiety Fit Into Writing

starlawrites

A few posts ago I said I’d write about anxiety. So here goes.

Living with anxiety is different for everyone. For me, it shows itself in various ways. At times, it sneaks up on me while I’m not expecting it and it can cause either an accelerated heartbeat, shortness of breath, an inability to concentrate, and irrational, (though not to my brain) thoughts and fears. Other times, it can send me into a full fledged panic attack. Sometimes anxiety hits me when there’s too much on my To-Do list, not enough time, and I’m sleep deprived.

In whichever form anxiety hits me, if it lingers, writing sometimes has to take a backseat. Either by choice or not. Anxiety can cause me to spiral, making it so my brain is unable to either form the words and sentences I want to write or making it so I believe my words don’t matter or I’m not good enough to write this story. When anxiety causes lack of concentration, I’m unable to stick to a plot or fully form relationships or dialogue. When anxiety is stemmed from busyness or too many balls being juggled, I have no choice but set my writing aside. The only problem with that, is that writing is a form of self care for me. So if I’m so busy I can’t find the time to write, it makes me irritable and can even cause a form of anxiety as well.

Leading from that; writing as a form of “self care”. When I become too anxious or irritable, I have to step away from my adult responsibilities for a few hours. I usually take an evening. My husband and kids are super supportive and they actually are good about noticing when I need to shut myself away by myself to write. When I do this, there are times when I’m able to pick up my current manuscript and add to my word count no problem. Other times, when my brain is foggy from anxiety, I spend time either journaling or writing poetry. While those are a similar type of creative outlet as writing fiction, they’re a bit different. I find journaling and writing poetry therapeutic. An added bonus? There’s been times when I’ve gone back and read some of those poems or journal entries and have been able to incorporate them in a story. I feel like anytime I can use this cursing disorder to my advantage, I’m sort of winning.

How does anxiety affect your writing?